How Divorce Mediation
Helps Children

How To Minimize The Effects Of Divorce On Children In Rockland County, Orange Or Westchester

Mediation helps children go through a divorce understanding that both parents love then and will be there for them

Mediation helps children go through a divorce understanding that both parents love then and will be there for them

The Rockland County Family Divorce Mediation Center helps couples in Rockland, Orange and Westchester divorce with minimal effects on their children.  Divorce mediation is a process for couples who want to transition out of their marriage in a way that reduces the negative effects of divorce on their children as well as themselves and can improve family communications. Children are the innocents in divorce. Divorce mediation makes a difficult situation easier for them while improving the relationships over the long-term. Dr. Robert Emery, Ph.D., published the results of his extensive study of the effects of traditional litigation and divorce mediation on families in his book: The Truth about Children of Divorce. The study shows divorce mediation helps the non-custodial parent maintain better relationships with their children than in adversarial divorces.  The Truth about Children of Divorce reveals that 12 years after the divorce, the non-custodial parent is three times as likely to see their children at least once per week when the couple chooses divorce mediation over litigation.  And the non-custodial parent is four times as likely to speak to their children on the phone at least once per week as compared to parents in litigated divorces. Additionally, the parent with custody of the children rated the non-custodial parent better in every aspect of co-parenting after divorcing via the mediation process.  The areas in which the non-custodial parent was rated include: discipline, grooming, religious and moral training, running errands, celebrating holidays, taking part in significant events, school and religious activities, recreation, vacations, and discussing problems with them. When both parents focus on the long term and work together with the children’s best interests in mind, the process has the least troubling impact on all of the participants.

Two Additional Ways Mediation Helps Couples Lessen The Effect Of Divorce On Children And Everyone

The process of divorce mediation has two additional benefits. First, it will require you to discuss and learn about what each of you feel are your children’s needs. You will develop a strategy to co-parent your children effectively. The process of analyzing your children’s needs will help you focus on solutions that will soften the blow to them. The process of agreeing to a plan of co-parenting will motivate you to effectively communicate when it comes to your children. Your children will see you agreeing to disagree and dissolving your marriage in a mature fashion, while receiving a consistent message that they are more important than the controversies that ended the marriage. This message is critical for them to receive and will help them to cope and heal.  The final benefit of the divorce mediation process is that it allows you to come face-to-face with your grief. Grief in divorce is very often expressed as anger. Recognizing this allows you to start to accept your grief and helps the participants work through the divorce and the ongoing co-parenting relationship in a healthier, less stressful manner.

A recent study by shows “children’s psychological reactions to their parents’ divorce vary in degree dependent on three factors:

  1. The quality of their relationship with each of their parents before the separation
  2. The intensity and duration of the parental conflict, and
  3. The parents’ ability to focus on the needs of children in their divorce.”

Mediation Helps Those Who Are Going To Divorce With Children Mitigate The Effects On Their Children

Divorce mediation helps couples that are going to divorce with children to focus on the children’s needs, dissolve the marriage as maturely and respectfully as possible and minimize the duration and intensity of the conflict.  All of these increase the chances that both parents will have ongoing positive relationships with the children after the divorce.

Divorce Mediation sessions can be provided in my office in New City, NY, or we can meet at a neutral location in Rockland, Westchester or Orange Counties, NY.

If you live in Rockland County, Westchester or Orange and would like to set an appointment to discuss how meditation can minimize the effects of divorce on you and your children, call Mark Paige at 845-639-0982 or complete the e-mail form on the contact page.